I researched soccer programs and found the right one. I researched summer camps and found the right one. I researched schools and found the right one. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. When it came to my daughter, I assessed the interests or needs, asked the relevant questions, analyzed the answers, and made the decisions (with input from my husband) that were best for her. And, while my rates of success weren’t perfect (gymnastics turned out to be a disaster!), she was never traumatized, scarred, or led astray.
And so, I’ve decided to continue in my roles as Social Director and Career Counselor by becoming my twenty-two-year-old daughter’s personal Matchmaker. I am taking control and intend to find the right guy for her – her beshert.
In the old days of small Jewish villages – shtetls – and Fiddler on the Roof, long before the age of technology, the work of matchmaking was social networking in the truest sense of the word. The shadchan or shadchanit – the matchmaker – knew all about the families in town; their histories, financial status, educational background, number of marriage eligible children, etc. Marriages were arranged and brokered with an eye toward meeting a variety of objectives – including Jewish continuity.
But where does a modern-day Jewish mother start? On the Internet of course.
As I sat down at my computer and googled “Jewish Matchmaking,” I anticipated finding only a few links to articles and to JDate. Boy, was I wrong! My search yielded way more than I expected. On the first two screens alone, I found:
- Jdate
- Jewish Datebook
- Upscale Jewish Matchmakers
- World of Singles
- Jwed
- Jewcier
- JRetroMatch
- Saw You at Sinai
- Chai Expectations
- Beshert
- Jewish Matchmaking
Yikes! Who knew? Well, with nothing better to do, I’ve started checking out each and every one to learn some tips, techniques, and methodologies. So far, it seems that “Jewish Dating Mom’s Way” may be the site I choose to go with. But, I first must be able to answer three important questions:
- Why is my daughter a good catch? (Can I just say, “because she’s smart, beautiful, funny, caring, and loving”?)
- What are her interests? (Can I say, “lying on the couch, watching reality TV shows, and eating sushi”?)
- What is she looking for in a significant other? (Can I say, “a tall, handsome, smart, financially stable, circumcised guy who was born to a Jewish woman and who loves Israel”?)
My daughter only has had two short-term serious relationships. Now, I’m worried that she’s being lazy or picky. Her love-life seems to be focused on puppies.
So, it’s time for an intervention. It won’t be easy, but I’ll get the job done. Andi Dorfman might have Chris Harrison and ABC, but my kid has me! I can use Facebook, my daughter’s friends, and connections in the Jewish community to find singles guys. I can set up interviews and schedule cool dates. I can buy my daughter some new clothes and shoes. I may have to quit my job and make a financial investment in this pursuit, but the ultimate payout could be huge. (Plus, it’ll make a great story!)
Don’t worry, Sweetie. I know that you and my future grandchildren are counting on me….I won’t let you down….just call me Mommy the Matchmaker…
Through Jewish Eyes 