It was our thirty-fifth wedding anniversary on Tuesday. In our family WhatsApp group, my daughter-by-marriage asked if we had any words of wisdom to share on our special day.

I contemplated the question and immediately came up with a few ideas. Four important things I’ve learned over the years came to mind:

1. Always remember it was just you two before the kids.
2. Don’t go to bed angry; it’ll ruin your night’s sleep and f-up your next day too.
3. Be open and honest with your feelings, but not deliberately hurtful or rude.
4. Your marriage is not like anyone else’s. No one’s!!! Do what’s right for you and ignore other’s opinions.

Our son approved and our daughter added her own perspective:

5. Your airline status doesn’t define you #10KtogountilSilver.

I laughed out loud. This was funny for a few reasons. First of all, she isn’t married. More importantly, she’s poking fun at the fact that my husband is feeling a tad threatened — or maybe just really annoyed — that I achieved Diamond status with Delta and he has not. Or, perhaps she’s telling me to dial it back. Either way, I appreciated the input and my husband did too. He added, “It’s particularly helpful at this fragile, vulnerable phase of my SkyMiles history… #10KtoPlatinum #LifetimeGold.” It’s nice that we can tease each other.

My husband then chimed in:

6. Don’t miss moments.

7. Your spouse must always come first.

It was my turn again. Thanks to a unique — and very much appreciated — feature in my new house, I added:

8. Install a urinal at home. (Preferably in the master bathroom, this type of toilet is a woman’s best friend!)

Then Hubby:

9. Never stop trying to have fun.

Our son, having fun with a whopping almost-four years of marital bliss, chose to contribute “much more tactical” advice:

1. Put the seat down (again, I truly recommend the urinal!).
2. Be quiet when you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
3. Don’t fart in the elevator.

Now, here I must pause….

All of this back and forth took place while I was in Israel. To be more specific, I literally was walking into my hotel room at this point in the conversation. I opened the door and froze as I took in the sight before me. My eyes focused and I smiled. The scene enabled me to finish our list with:

10. Even if you are far apart on your anniversary, the surprise of roses, cake, wine and fruit in your spouse’s hotel room bodes well for another year of marriage!!!

The surprise apparently wasn’t easy to pull off; my husband moved mountains (and Israelis!) to make it happen. And, it definitely wasn’t expected by me at all.

My daughter-by-marriage suggested this entire chat be the topic of this week’s post. I wholeheartedly agreed and gave my husband the last words of wisdom…”Begin each day with a cup of coffee and end it with a glass of wine.”

Amen.